It‘s 42. Post over. 😉. If you haven’t read Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, it’s worth a read. The characters ask a super computer the "meaning of life, the universe, and everything." The computer gives an answer: 42. This then prompts the askers to ask a better question:
What is the question, if the answer is 42?
Kids, there will come a time in your life (as it does for everyone) when you will ask: what is the meaning of it all? What is the divine purpose of all this tragedy and death and mess that we have on this planet? Sometimes the question will be asked in wonder looking up at the night sky over a camp fire. Sometimes the question will be asked when your heart is broken over loss. The best answer I have for you is this: ask a better question. Instead of asking yourself what is the meaning of everything, ask yourself what brings meaning to your life. This is a much more useful question and it can be answered with some reasonable degree of certainty. The other question, “what does everything mean?” is likely not able to be answered by finite human minds. Have some humility when searching such things. Don’t Panic. (And don’t give into existential angst like your dad sometimes does.)
This paradigm shift for the question comes from Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning” who ponders the question of meaning while imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp. He found through suffering all the inhuman indignities of camp life that there were three essential things that bring life meaning: engaging in meaningful work, relationships, and the courageous response to suffering.
He says, “In a position of utter desolation, when man cannot express himself in positive action, when his only achievement may consist in enduring his sufferings in the right way – an honorable way – in such a position man can, through loving contemplation of the image he carries of his beloved, achieve fulfillment.”
For Frankl, he was referring his wife. He would meditate and focus on his wife while he was suffering and even have conversations with her in his mind. It was, for him, the most meaningful relationship in his life.
So let me share with you what has made life meaningful to me. Having a job that positively affects people’s lives. I have the opportunity to help people in difficult positions on a daily basis. This gives me immense purpose and meaning to my life. Knowing that I can bring peace to chaotic situations is participating in Justice. (Micah 6:8) My hope for my children is they can find and pursue meaningful work as I have. I believe God intends humanity to have meaningful work.
I have not suffered much which is worth noting. However, keeping that very thing in perspective and choosing to be grateful for my mild sufferings and my tremendous blessings is meaningful to me. Knowing that there will come a day when suffering arrives is important to know. When suffering does come, may I not be surprised by its appearance, may I instead instead find courage in my faith and may I recognize that overcoming the suffering in "an honorable way" will bring a deep sense of meaning.
I want you to know that my most vital meaning is derived from the relationships I have in my life. I deeply value my relationships with my friends, you and your mom. I count myself lucky to have many life long friends. I am a father to you. This is my primary purpose. The call on my life is to teach, lead, love, and care for you four. This relationship has brought deep joy and meaning to my life. My relationship with your mom is the single most important relationship to me. It is my most valued possession; and through our marriage we take care of you, my children.
However, the most foundational of all sources of meaning is my relationship with God through the person of Jesus. I struggle daily to be in a meaningful relationship with Jesus, but this relationship restores my ability to love and care for others. It restores my soul. It is by this that the rest can exist and hold meaning.
There is nothing I wish more for my children than for you to have vital and vibrant relationships which will bring purpose and meaning to your life. This thing more than any other, your relationships with Christ, friends, family, fellow Christians, and others will determine: your happiness, your joy and your meaning in your life. There will be times when these relationships are shattering. This will cause tremendous, internal suffering. At these times, turn toward your relationship with Jesus for tools for repentance, forgiveness and grace which, I believe, can redeem the most broken of relationships. The relationship with Christ is one that allows all others to be sustained.
(P.S. the ultimate question, according to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe is, “What do you get when you multiply six by nine?” So there are two conclusions that could be made, the Universe is bad at basic math or that all of this, life, the universe and everything, is quite absurd. You should always bear that absurdity in mind. Even when pursuing that which is meaningful to you.)
(P.P.S. your mom doesn’t think life is absurd and she also doesn’t like The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. But she is fun anyway.)