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Millennial Dad

Epistemological Pickup Lines

Updated: Dec 29, 2021

“I’m really into epistemology,”

That, kids, is the worst pick up line ever uttered that actually worked. I suppose it wasn’t technically a pick up line, but instead something I said to your mom on AOL Instant Messenger when we were freshmen in college and still getting to know each other.

Yes, while sitting in my dorm at age 18 talking to a cute girl, I thought telling her I was “into epistemology” would be a good way to get her to date me. The most practical lesson here is, don’t ask me for dating advice. I clearly just got lucky.


Your mom later told me she quickly googled epistemology during the conversation. What is truly remarkable is that after she googled it, she didn’t send a message that said, “NERD!” And then stopped talking to me, but happily (for you and for me) she found my interest in the “theory of knowledge” an acceptable flaw and we started dating shortly after.


What I know now, and I did not know then, is that my interest in the subject was extremely amateur at best and the branch of philosophy dives into extremely technical depths in which I have not ventured to tread. However, the initial question, of “How can we know what we know” which gives way to “How can we know reality is what you perceive it to be.” Is still a question that is interesting to me and I want to share with you how it has been answered for me in my life.


So kids, how can you know that the world is not really the Matrix? How can we be sure Descartes’ Epistemological boogey man (the “Malicious demon”) is not playing some sort of insane prank on you?

I have always held on to an answer given to my Dad from Francis Schaefer at a conference he attended. Your Grandpa asked Schaefer, “How do you solve the classic epistemological question as presented by David Hume.” Schaefer’s answer was that if there is a God, then it is reasonable to assume that God would make what is in your mind correspond to what exists externally. Furthermore, that you can observe what you are like inside yourself. And then the Bible, something external, actually describes what’s going on inside of you. So if something outside of yourself accurately describes your inward reality, then it may be reasonable to assume (and this is an assumption) that what else it describes in the external world is also accurate. Then (and this is me talking now not Schaefer) you can begin to synthesize the empirical and rational notions of metaphysical reality. Maybe. (Also, go read Kant’s Critique of Pure Reason).

This all hinges on the question “Does God Exist” which we will attempt to tackle in a later post. Spoiler alert: He does…

But the reality is (see what I did there? Dad joke for the win) that such questions fade over time and they should. As you get further into life and its challenges, asking if they’re real is almost silly. It’s all you have. And what you do here has eternal implications.

It bears repeating, this existence, whatever it may be, is all you have. You must pursue it and pursue it diligently because not doing so, failing to engage, will so obviously have dire consequences for you.

What is useful, though, regarding the study of what we can know is the understanding objective reality is difficult to ascertain. You can know that “knowing” anything is difficult. What is the Truth? I believe it exists. However, our ability to connect to objective reality is broken. I think this is the result of our fallen nature. We’re disconnected from the source of Truth. We cannot know with 100% certainty. But we can have faith.

This elusiveness of objective reality should alter how you engage the world in two ways:

  • First, be truthful. Do not tell lies. The more someone lies to others, the more they end up lying to themselves. Objective reality is difficult enough to ascertain without disconnecting yourself from it further. Keep on telling yourself the truth and surround yourself with people who tell the truth. If you can make a commitment to be honest with yourself and others, you will be so much more grounded to reality. (Whatever it may be).

  • Second, be humble. Your tethers or connections to Big Objective truth are fallible. You are fallible. So be humble. Allow yourself to listen and learn and not always assume that your correct. You will be incorrect often. Understanding this frees you to journey towards self improvement. After all, if you have it "everything" figured out what more is there to learn? And then you would become a very small minded person indeed. But what I wish for you, my sons and daughters, is to be humble, understanding your own limitations and humbly seeking the truth even as it may elude you.


That’s a journey worth going on. That’s building a life.

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