Your community and environment matter immensely to your well being. Even your ability to take care of yourself.
There is a somewhat famous study from the 1970’s in which rats were individually placed in a cage with water drippers. One with normal water and one that was laced with Heroin (the 70’s were wild man). Perhaps unsurprisingly, the rats would realize the fixthey received from the drug laced water dripper and start hitting it up like it was Woodstock in, well, the 70’s.
What’s notable is they would forgo food and everything else they needed to continue getting high off the heroin dropper until they died. Sad for the rats. What is also notable is the scientists then decided to see what would happen if you put rats in a different environment.
They filled the cages with what they thought was the ideal rat environment. Lots of fun things and trash and garbage to engage their rat brains. They also put a community of other rats in the “Rat Park” as it came to be known. They also left the heroin. What they found is the rats in the ideal environment with rat community did not (typically) overdose on heroin. (Even the rats that used at all did so at a much “safer” rate.)
What’s the take away? Your environment matters a great deal to your well being as well as your ability to cope with addiction. I think it has deeper application than just addiction and substance abuse, your environment matters with how well you can thrive in general.
Of course, you, my dear reader (and hopefully future children), are not a Rat. (Well, I suppose I can’t speak for all of you. 😉) But I believe that your environment influences you deeply as well.
If we have learned anything coming out of the Pandemic it’s that sometimes we’re not that good at taking care of ourselves in isolation. Hence the necessity of Jordan Peterson’s 2nd Rule for Life “Treat Yourself Like Someone You’re Responsible for Helping” citing the statistic that people are farmore likely to fill a prescription for their pet than they are themselves. (As I write this, I realize I am currently guilty of failing to fill my asthma control prescription which is sitting at the Dillon’s pharmacy even though I have been suffering a bit without it for about 2 weeks.)
But why is this rule so necessary? Why do we take care of others better than ourselves? Why does it make sense to us that an isolated rat would drug itself to death and a socialized rat does better?
I believe we were designed to be social creatures. We were built for community. That’s our ideal environment.
Our human “Rat Park” has other humans in it for us to care for and for them to care for us. That’s why I believe God himself is communal. We are like him (although not triune and self sufficient but that is an entirely different theological topic).
So my advice is this, you have control over your environment. You actually get to actively create and choose your community. You pick your daily routine, your job, your spouse, all of it. Your friends will have a significant influence on you. Choose them well. (This entire line of thinking was inspired by a conversation with a close friend who is always learning and we discuss what we’re reading together.)
You don’t choose your family (sorry kids) but you do choose how you treat them and how you let them into your environmentas an adult (this one can get complicated, but the general rule is strong connection with healthy boundaries is the key.) We have a high degree of agency in creating our ideal environment. That’s a good thing.
Choose your community, your friends and family relationships with grace, love, and generosity. And make sure you come back to visit your mom every now and again.