When I was in my first year of Law School, Liz and I took a long weekend to go back to Oklahoma to visit college friends. My buddy had an apartment with a golf course so naturally we decided we would play 18 holes for fun. The first thing you need to know about this is, I am terrible at golf, although maybe that will become apparent as I relate the story. On the 4th hole there was a small water hazard on the fairway and just beyond that was the green. I hit a pretty good ball (for me anyway) onto the fairway and I was excited because I had a good chance of making par. (getting par? Hitting par? Paring par?) I had to hit it across the small stream, but I was confident in my ability to get that done.
What I didn't fully account for: My ball was a little close to the cart path. I briefly thought about backing the ball up a bit, but instead decided to go ahead and swing.
Unfortunately, I “topped” the ball and it moved straight forward instead of up at all AND THE BALL HIT THE CORNER OF THE CART PATH AND BOUNCED RIGHT BACK AND STUCK ME SQUARE IN THE FORHEAD. I didn’t understand that this is what had happened, of course because, you know, blunt trauma and all. Instead, it felt like everything went white and I was extremely confused. My head hurt all over. Reece, my buddy, was running towards me saying, “Are you ok?! Are you ok?! Are you gonna pass out?”
I reached my hand up to my face and to my surprise my hand was just covered in blood. I was also surprised it was running down and dripping all over my green Model Arab League t-shirt (complete with Arabic writing that said who knows what).
I told Reece, “I think I hit my head.” (what can I say I’m a wordsmith) “But I think I’m ok.”
We wrapped my shirt around my head wound and looked for my ball. (Why wouldn’t you want to find the ball?) to my surprise we found it across the stream, although not on the Green.
Damn.
Now at this point in my life, I had no health insurance. I was a poor law student. So we did what any poor student with a head injury would do ...we went to Walgreens to find stuff to patch up my wound. My friend and I apparently (as my wife tells the story) found make up pads and tape. I'm a little vague on those details, but I do remember later Liz getting a better bandage for me. We went to meet up with another friend who was in Physicians Assistant school at the time. He took a look at it and laughed. It had swollen up in the shape of the ball and had the little golf ball divits in it. It also had a clean horizontal split right in the middle. My friend said, “Yeah, if you went to the ER they’d sew your head back up. But it’s not necessary.” That was all the excuse I needed. We had some more drinks and I think we went bowling.
I’m not sure if there is a lesson here. Maybe, make sure you have health insurance? Or maybe go with your first instincts. Don’t second guess yourself. If you want to move the ball back go for it. Learn geometry.
But in all likelihood the only lesson is don’t go golfing with me. It’s not safe.
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